What To Do When Someone Wants Your Airplane Seat (And You Don't Want To Give It Up)

If you've flown often, you probably have a seating preference, whether it's the aisle so you can get up whenever you like or a window seat when you want to lock in and work or get some shuteye on a red eye flight. You may have carefully selected your seat, looking for one that has an empty seat next to it, or even paid extra for more legroom. If someone comes over to ask to switch seats with you, then, you might be thrown for a loop. And if you don't want to move, you may feel uncomfortable outright saying no. However, there are ways to reject their request, and things you need to know, both about how to handle the situation with grace and why someone may want to change — or not change — seats during a flight in the first place. 

First, it's important to know that you don't have to change seats. Travel expert and influencer Jessica Dante told Business Insider, "If you're asking someone to do a swap for a lesser seat in their eyes, the other passenger is completely entitled to say 'no.'" However, you may want to consider giving in to help a family sit together, or to allow someone with mobility issues to have an easier time moving around. Keep in mind that they may have gotten a basic fare that doesn't allow them to pick a seat, or they lost their seating preference because of a canceled flight. That said, you may have chosen your seat for a perfectly good reason, and it's okay if switching isn't in the cards for you.

If you're asked to switch seats and you don't want to, it's imperative that you stay polite and calm. Rolling your eyes, getting upset, and other outward displays of annoyance aren't going to make the situation less fraught. Even if the person asking gets aggressive or angry, staying calm can help de-escalate the situation, or at the very least, keep it from getting worse. Your best bet is to call a flight attendant and ask them to help. They may be able to reseat them, find someone else willing to switch, or, in the worst-case scenario, intervene if there is an altercation. In addition, if you're being asked to give up your seat for, say, a family to sit together, and the seat you're supposed to take is worse than yours, they might be able to sit you in a better spot than you originally had.

On the other hand, if you're the one asking to switch, remember that there are good reasons that people pick the seats they do beyond just sleeping against a wall and getting up to use the restroom. Someone with a severe fear of flying may have chosen the wing because it feels safer to them. They may have picked a specific seat because they get motion sick. Or they may have picked a spot because of an invisible disability (and they might be wearing a sunflower lanyard because of it). No one owes you their seat, and it's okay to decline their request for yours, too.