Wisconsin's Secret Slot Canyon Is A Mesmerizing Fairyland Hidden At The End Of A Stunning Boat Tour

Double, double toil and trouble, the Wisconsin River's beauty isn't subtle. The coven at Reddit ranked it one of the state's most incredible lakes and rivers for the perfect Midwest summer vacation. The 430-mile-long river includes a bewitching gash in the landscape, creating a fairyland inside a secret slot canyon called Witches Gulch. The resulting cozy corridors create an otherworldly atmosphere that feels like a movie set, for either a bucolic children's adventure or a sinister horror film.

The slot canyon, hidden at the end of a stunning boat tour, was created over the course of millions of years. Mother Nature deployed wind and water to chisel sandstone along the bed of an ancient lake. The evolving environment exposed and eroded the lake's sandstone bed, eventually slicing a thin pathway. Short, yet engrossing, a trip to Witches Gulch leaves visitors fully aware of natural forces greater than anything mere humans can generate. It's the same ethereal helplessness one would face if ever confronted by a true witch.

Locals and visitors could once access Witches Gulch by land. Now, only boats can reach the canyon. Upper Dells Boat Tours offers your passage there. The boat passes along the Wisconsin Dells, floating past their imposing cliffs and pine-laced shores. The two-hour trip includes tour guides recalling local legends, leading to two landings: Stand Rock, a sandstone sentinel that a trained dog reaches via a daring leap; then, Witches Gulch, the slot canyon with a wicked name.

The walk through Witches Gulch offers a slow, meticulous passageway into a mesmerizing world. The gulch's staggered cliffsides, layered like the Michelin Man's abdomen, have a rich, mossy hue. You'll find a new vista readymade for a Hans Christian Andersen story, or the Brothers Grimm, at every turn along the boardwalk. Depending on your disposition, the Witches Gulch can either be a sojourn into untamed beauty or an imposing reminder of our own weakness in comparison to nature's brute force. Either way, much like a witch, your visit will conjure lasting feelings long after you've stepped back on the tour boat. Those looking to double down on the spookiness are in luck.

A Ghost Boat tour runs every fall, leading a 90-minute nighttime trip down the river to a Halloween-ified Witches Gulch, filled with jump scares and red lights. Those looking for a more romantic trip can take the Sunset Dinner Cruise. The trip follows the same route as the Upper Dell Boat Tour, with live music and a surf n' turf buffet thrown in. It ends at Witches Gulch, which becomes a torch-lit boardwalk.

Green Bay's Austin Straubel International Airport is the closest major transit hub, though the two-plus hour drive time to Witches Gulch should make you consider Dane County Regional Airport as an alternative. Turn your trip into a cauldron of fun by resting at Wisconsin Dells, an iconic Midwest gem and the water park capital of the world, which is only 15 minutes away from Witches Gulch. Accommodations there are more expensive in the summer, with rooms costing about $200 per night. Book a stay during the slower seasons for a better deal. If you're not too keen on Wisconsin Dells' waterpark or peak-season prices, consider staying one hour south in Spring Green, a secret town near Madison full of unique attractions.

The Upper Dells Boat Tour operates from April through October. Tickets cost up to $27, and kids go for half price. Each season has its own temperament and flavor. Those looking to beat the heat should aim for spring, while those aesthetically inclined should stop by in the fall. Be sure to book your tickets ahead of time. The gulch is similar to a cave in terms of atmosphere and temperature, so bring an extra jacket to keep warm.