5 English Afternoon Tea Rules American Tourists Break Within The First 10 Minutes

Afternoon tea, a British custom with aristocratic roots, provides an elevated and memorable dining experience. Indeed, this activity is popular among American tourists visiting the United Kingdom, and with good reason. From the dainty teacups and saucers to the perfectly displayed delights, every detail is meant to make a lasting impression (and to be slowly savored with good company). Then there's the venue, which ties it all together. Afternoon tea is typically offered at posh hotels, elegant restaurants, and glamorous department stores, such as London's Fortnum & Mason. You can easily spend a pretty penny on this outing, so you'll want to brush up on the right and wrong ways to do afternoon tea. 

It's certainly understandable that American tourists might not even realize that they are inadvertently breaking the rules moments after settling into the tearoom. Although afternoon tea has become popular at historic hotels in the U.S., this ritual is not customary in the country, as British tea culture is embedded in the U.K.'s history. As daunting as it may seem, afternoon tea etiquette is relatively straightforward. Thus, if you want to avoid making a mistake on your next afternoon tea outing abroad, knowing the information below will make you stand out for all the right reasons.

Americans have a reputation for dressing in laid-back attire and donning athleisure wear for any occasion. However, you'll want to refrain from doing so at afternoon tea, as this will undoubtedly give you away as a tourist as soon as you walk in. With afternoon tea served at establishments like the five-star London hotel, Claridge's (which is among the world's best), you'll want to be sure you come dressed in a chic or sharp outfit that's appropriate for these surroundings. Fashion was a significant part of this experience in the 19th century, with artistocrats donning flowing tea gowns. In the 21st century, attention to wardrobe is still important (not to mention, it will elevate the experience). 

Need some inspiration? It's often understood that the dress code for afternoon tea is "smart casual." Women can opt for midi-dresses, pencil skirts, or slacks, while men should wear blazers or jackets. As local English blogger Postcards from Hawaii explains, "Don't overthink it, you don't need to come dressed for afternoon tea with royalty. You can dress comfortably and look put-together at the same time." Another tip? Consult your venue's dress code. Not all places have the same policies, and you wouldn't want to be turned away because you wore the wrong outfit. For example, The Ritz, a world-famous hotel known for hosting celebrities, requires a more formal dress code. 

Americans might not realize that there is an art to enjoying their tiered stand of treats. Strictly speaking, guests shouldn't grab the first thing that catches their eye, so don't make this rookie mistake. If you're new to afternoon tea, here's a quick rundown. You will be provided a dreamy display with three courses to pair with your tea, boasting sandwiches and sweet treats. Depending on the establishment, the tiers could be organized differently.

You'll want to begin with the tea sandwiches, which are served on soft bread that melts in the mouth. From here, move on to the scones, served with jam and cream — the baked good comparable to an American biscuit. Lastly, the third course calls for sweets, which can range from delicate cakes to tartlets that are often made with seasonal ingredients. 

Something else to consider? Afternoon tea welcomes eating with your hands, as long as you only touch what you will consume. As advised by Tea Sommelier Jee Choe on her website, "You definitely don't want to be touching anything on the tray that you're not going to be eating. Eat off your plate."

There's no question that milk and tea complement each other in England. Milk adds a creamy and cozy touch to a cuppa, especially to a black variety. This combo is a personal choice, and if you decide to include milk, be sure to prepare your tea correctly. Put simply, you'll stick out by adding milk to your cup before your tea. While not everyone agrees with this notion, etiquette and afternoon tea experts like Eileen Donaghey and William Hanson say that it should be the other way around. 

Historically, putting milk in first protected cheaper porcelain alternatives from breaking due to the heat of the tea. However, in today's culture, Donaghey states on her website that pouring the milk after prevents you from watering down your tea. As she puts it, "You can always add more milk if needed but you can't take it away." There are other things to keep in mind too. In a TikTok posted by Hanson, he says that if you'd like to add sugar, it should be white, not brown, which should enhance the flavor of your tea, not alter it.

Perhaps due to pop culture and social media, Americans tend to associate putting their pinkies up with drinking tea and acting fancy. However, this is not something you want to be caught doing. "In this day and age, raising the pinky is not only obsolete yet it can also be seen as snobbish, elitist and rude — and there is certainly nothing respectful about that," writes expert Katarina Etiquette. There are many theories as to how this tradition started, from discreet signaling between aristocrats to the simple fact that the little finger wasn't able to hold onto the small and fragile teacups.

Today, the pinky should not be visible as you lift your teacup to your mouth. In the same vein, make sure you are holding your teacup correctly and taking small sips. Rather than putting your fingers through the loop of the handle (which can look awkward), pinch it. According to William Hanson (via TikTok), your thumb and index finger should be at the top of the handle, and the rest of your fingers supporting the bottom.

So far, you've learned that you should not add milk before your tea and that putting out your pinky is a breach of etiquette. Another rule Americans break? Stirring their tea incorrectly. Yes, there is a method for this, and you might be surprised to learn that it does not involve circles. 

Speaking to Business Insider, Grant Harrold, who was previously employed by King Charles III, explains why: "If we stir in a circular motion we can create a storm in a tea cup and see the tea coming over the sides which we should never allow." That begs the question: what is the proper way to stir your cuppa? Harrold says to stir back and forth, though you should avoid hitting the teacup (making noise is another no-no). Imagine gently folding the tea over itself.

You might feel ready to take on an afternoon tea on your next trip to the U.K., but if you want to start a little closer to home, try the tradition at Chicago's Drake Hotel, offering a historic, senior-friendly tea.