Flight Attendants Actually Hate These Seemingly Polite Passenger Acts

Modern-day air travel is an odd place. More people than ever are flying, and there is a lot to love about this. However, stuffing a giant metal tube full of people and sending it hurtling through the air for a few hours comes with a slew of cultural, ethical, and social clashes that we couldn't have anticipated. We've all watched as someone 10 rows back stampedes forward at touchdown. We've been slowly driven to insanity as the family behind all plays their individual devices for the entire plane to hear. And we've all cringed internally as a flight attendant deals with a rowdy passenger who spent a little too much time at the lounge bar before boarding.

The rough sides of air travel make most of us want to be better passengers. It doles out a level of empathy to the flight attendants and makes us a little paranoid that our own habits are being viewed in a negative light. But sometimes, wanting to be better actually makes things worse. Instead of helping, we overcompensate, and the kind-in-theory gestures we make can make life harder for the attendants.

We spoke to several flight attendants from different airlines to find out what seemingly polite passenger acts they actually hate. Rebecca, a flight attendant with Emirates for the last six years, has some strong opinions on passenger over-friendliness, while Josh, who works for a budget airline in the United States, gets riled up by overhead baggage hoggers. Ashley, who flies with British Airways, struggles with passenger trash habits. Ready to regret everything you did on your flight? And just remember, following this advice might be one of the best ways to get a flight attendant to give you a free drink on your next flight.

Embarkation is a stressful process for everyone, and overhead bins tend to generate a bit of fuss on almost any flight. Some well-intentioned passengers try to get involved, reshuffling luggage while other passengers are still getting on. For some, it's a selfish act, placing their bags in the ideal spot for themselves, but many do believe they're helping the flight attendants out.

Josh, who works on budget flights in the U.S, feels this especially hard — mainly owing to the stricter baggage rules on his type of routes."I think on longer-haul flights, this might be less of a problem, but on a budget airline, it's a nightmare. We're already enforcing strict policies on what people can and can't bring in, and there's a natural animosity with passengers because of that. I've had passengers take other passengers' "personal items" out of the bins and cause fights. While they're technically correct (and cabin crew hate this common misuse of a plane's overhead bin), that those items shouldn't be there it's something we can deal with before departure. I've even had individuals take it upon themselves to become the cabin luggage captains, directing people where to put their bags and slowing everyone down. It's a nightmare."

While the chaos of the overhead bins can seem frustrating, it's far more beneficial for everyone to get your luggage in the nearest space to you, then get seated. If there are any problems or concerns, let the attendants know when they come by to do last checks. They can then help do a quick reshuffle if need be.

"This happens almost every flight for me", says Rebecca. "I totally understand the reasoning. They're walking on a plane holding trash from something they've just finished in the departure area, and it'll still be maybe 30 minutes until the plane leaves, and there's a trash can not far from me, but it's an absolute pet peeve. I had to build up my courage over the years to tell them no. Which is frustrating for me, too, because it's then led to passengers being a little sour with me for the flight, thinking I'm not doing my job".

What feels like a tiny gesture to keep the cabin clean and possibly leave less work for an attendant later can actually slow things down quite a lot. It also raises the chances of a security problem. "We're given pretty strict instructions to double-check the boarding passes as passengers enter the plane," says Ashley. "Yes, they've already scanned them in the departure area, but it's meant to operate as a failsafe. If I have to run back and forth to the trash, it's not only slowing things down, it's increasing the chance that someone walks on that they shouldn't. It's also when I'm meant to be directing people to either side of the cabin. If I miss someone and they walk off down the wrong aisle, that slows things again."

While it might be frustrating to hold onto your trash for a little while longer, it really can help the crew and your fellow passengers. Better yet, dispose of your trash before you board. There are plenty of trash cans in the departure area.

All three of our flight attendants listed this as one of their pet peeves, and rightly so, but does it belong on this list as a "seemingly polite act?" Many passengers think so. Standing up as soon as the plane lands draws a stark line in the sand between passengers. In many ways, it's cultural, with some nationalities not being too fussed about the sudden surge and chaos, while others have immense respect for forming orderly lines. Some, according to the attendants, believe they're helping the disembarkation process by jumping to grab their things.

Ashley with British Airways said that "Most of the problem passengers in this situation are being selfish. I try not to get too annoyed by it in some cases. Indian culture, for example, has been affected by train travel. You've seen all those crazy videos with packed trains there, and that's what they're used to, so it rubs off in planes as well. It's still frustrating, and I have to shout at people a lot because of it, but there's no ill intent. Some passengers, though, go crazy and start grabbing everyone's bags, thinking they're speeding up the process. I've shouted down the intercom at these people, who shout back, saying they're just trying to help. It's a hard thing to fight."

Remaining patient and realizing that getting to your own bag when it's your turn makes the process better for everyone. Exiting row-by-row keeps things safe and faster. "Realistically," says Rebecca, "all those people you rush ahead of are probably going to catch up with you in the immigration line, or even beat you out of the airport." Equally frustrating are gate lice — the nickname given by flight attendants to tourists who crowd the boarding gate.

"I live in mortal fear of this happening every time I see a stag do (Bachelor party) board the plane," laughs Ashley. "It's a sweet-natured gesture, although usually just meant to be funny, but it can completely screw up our processes and actually land us in trouble. I've been on flights to places like Ibiza or Magaluf, where the stag (bachelor) has been pushed by his friends to ask for help, and a newer attendant has folded to the pressure and let them. It's a funny moment for passengers, but the hygiene issues, the safety problems with stuff like allergies can put us in hot water."

Trying to help the attendants during service isn't just an issue for procedural purposes. It can become a liability issue if something goes wrong. This is definitely one of the lesser experienced acts — only Ashley has seen it on flights from the U.K. to party destinations — but it's something that feels harmless despite having far-reaching consequences. An attendant shouldn't ever let a passenger help with this, and any pressure from passengers to do so should be reported to other attendants.

Attendants should be treated with respect at all times during a flight, but some people take that respect a little too far, trying to forge colloquial bonds with the crew that can often make them feel uncomfortable or seem like the passenger is trying to receive special service. While often a cultural clash, it's one of the most common qualms that attendants face. Each of our own experts has experienced it to different degrees, ranging from genuine discomfort to cringe-inducing situations.

Josh has mixed feelings on the subject. "For me, it's usually just awkward. Most of my flights are three hours or less, and because it's budget, we don't have too much in the way of service. But we get a lot of guys coming on board, calling me "champ", or shortening my name to "J" for some reason. Trying to fist bump me at the plane entrance, too. It's not a huge deal, but I find it odd."

Rebecca and Ashley, on the other hand, find it uncomfortable on a regular basis. "As a female, you're always a little on guard when this happens. I'm in no way saying that people who go out of their way to chat with me or force some kind of bond are being sleazy, but the sleaze happens enough that I automatically question it a little. I'm working, please call me Rebecca, I'm not Becks or Becky, and I'm not giving you special treatment. I don't know. It's an odd one." Ashley agrees, stating, "I'm not a fan of it. It always feels like they're angling for something as opposed to being genuine. Sometimes you build rapport naturally, but most times, it's very much a one-way street."

The call button is there primarily for emergencies. Don't forget that, and definitely don't ring it looking for a top-up of your gin and tonic. In fact, using the call button is an annoying behavior that might cause flight attendants to ignore you. "I think people forget that our primary job is the safety of everyone in the cabin," says Ashley. "Yeah, we dish out the food and grab extra pillows and drinks when you need them, but we're on a pretty elaborate schedule that keeps things moving. So when passengers start bashing the call button, it can really disrupt our processes."

Again, cultural nuances can play a big factor. If someone believes the button is there for convenience, it would feel silly or rude not to use it. In most cases, flight attendants would far rather you wait until one of them passes or even swing by the galley if it's a little more urgent. On the other side, if there really is something wrong, use the button.

Rebecca explains she "once had a mother holding her twins, one of which had barfed all over her, trying to stand up, go into the overhead bin, and find her bag to get cleaned up. For some reason, no one nearby helped, and I didn't see her until I noticed her struggling to hold two babies in one arm. She could have called using the button, for sure."

Taking what you're given isn't necessarily a selfless act. While you might see a busy attendant in need of some respite from the long line of meal services they've just completed, opting to leave the decision to them can make an already stressful situation worse. Flight attendants can get into an autopilot state, grabbing the chicken, beef, or veggie option without thinking, but having the onus thrust on them can shatter that working mode.

"I almost feel a bit petty with this one, but it really annoys me," admits Ashley. " It's a nice gesture, but like, I'm working my way down an Airbus with over 300 passengers on board, forcing a trolley through the wee space, hitting everyone's elbows, and making sure I'm not giving any allergy-specific meals to the wrong people. I'm in service mode, so just tell me what you want. It sounds silly, but that moment totally breaks me out of the flow I'm in. I've even had people ask me to choose, then say no to the option I give them."

Be polite, be decisive, and even ask questions if you need to, but don't complicate things. Being aware can do wonders, too. "My favorite passengers are the ones who listen to the row behind and decide their order before I even get there. Things like that mean a lot on a busy flight," says Rebecca.

Some of us are social butterflies. That's great at parties or by the pool on vacation, or even if your fellow passenger feels like a chat. But leave it at your seat, don't take it to the galley. The galley is one of the few places where attendants can decompress slightly, and it's also the scene of much of the prep work for the next service or cleaning up the previous one. Yet some passengers find themselves lingering in there, making small talk with the crew, and getting in the way.

Some flight attendants, nicknamed "Galley Queens", can get pretty territorial about their space, too. "I've not heard that term actually, but that's me for sure. Although I'd be a galley king, I guess," laughs Josh. "It's technically allowed, so I can't tell people to sit down unless the fasten seatbelt sign comes on, but I've lost count of the number of times I'm in there and someone's felt chatty while I'm trying to prep or do other work. I think they think it's helping me in some way, but I'd usually rather be left to myself."

Rebecca has similar experiences in the Middle East. "I've flown on some of Emirates' big Airbus A380s, where there are multiple galleys at different points on the plane, and people still somehow manage to linger exactly where I'm working. It's not that I don't want to speak to anyone. I'm just working, and we're on quite tight schedules. There have also been a few situations where I've felt a little cornered, too. That relates back to how people speak to us, too, and the boundaries." Oh, and definitely don't talk to flight attendants when they're in their jump seats. That's a real safety issue.

The pain in the voice of all three of our flight attendant experts was obvious on this one. Piling trash on the cart as an attendant comes by feels like it's taking work away from them. At best, it's adding a little extra; at worst, it's creating another problem.

According to Rebecca, "this might be my least favorite thing people do. Whether it's because they can't wait the extra few seconds for me to grab their rubbish and put it in the bin, or they think they're helping, I don't know. But it's almost guaranteed to fall off the trolley. I've had cups with liquid still in them fall off before onto other passengers. It's crazy."

Rebecca continued, saying, "I've had someone put a used nappy (diaper) on the cart before. That was special. I was mortified. Thankfully, it didn't fall off, but it's just the thought of it. I was a waitress years ago, too, and the piling up feels similar to when customers would stack their plates and pass them to me when they were done. It totally messes with your system and can be a recipe for disaster. I haven't had any disasters yet, but there's always at least one person who puts stuff on the cart when I'm passing." In short, just hold on to your trash. It'll be gone soon.

Flight attendants have countless in-flight duties to attend to, and while you may think you're helping, it's better to let the systems they have in place take precedent. Remember, they are working, and they're in charge of your safety and comfort during the flight. Hindering that job can impact the whole cabin. Immense thanks to our three flight attendants who were willing to give their opinions on some slightly touchy subjects in their industry. Hopefully, we can all take some of their views on board and become better passengers in the process.